Election Discretion Part 2: Virals and Endorsers, Jejemons and Assumptionistas
Election Discretion continues with the more offbeat pieces of campaign propaganda. In this part, we discuss the best and worst of viral marketing, as well as who or what’s been endorsing who or what (and how?). Also, in the spirit of social stratification, we have two special award categories: the Jejemons and the Assumptionistas.
The Virally Yours Awards
Noy-bita and Dorae-mar. I don’t know who came up with this, but it’s brilliant. Perfect match—from the blue and yellow colors, to Noynoy’s character matching Nobita’s: lampa, whiny, may pagkabaliw, loser. The only difference is that Nobita is middle-class, while Noynoy is filthy rich. Also, Nobita is endearing, while Noynoy is not. Mar, on the other hand, does look a bit like Doraemon, no? Sa may jawline…
Sino’ng Iboboto Mo? Another version goes:
- Erap – Kanto boy
- Villar – Tondo boy
- Noynoy – Mama’s boy
- Gibo – Lover boy
- Gordon – Amboy
- Eddie V – Altar boy
- Jamby – If I were a boy
There are several variations of this viral. In each of them, Jamby Madrigal is always the punchline. Call it gender-insensitive, but I love it. In this presidential race, Jamby has the balls. Hinamon nga niya si Manny Villar sa isang talkshow e: “Mag-usap tayo. Man to man.”
We’ve seen a lot of virals this past year, from Youtube videos to flash mobs and other publicity stunts. But the most infectious, malignant and pus-ridden piece of viral propaganda ever deserves an award for living up to its “viral” name. The award goes to…
NoyWeb Comics: Hacienda Luisita. For being a mix of McCarthyist anti-communism, MMK-level overdramaturgy, and sheer kapal ng apog, this 14-page comics is the worst viral ever. Its winning moment, however, is on page 6, where the lead character blames the Luisita issue on “leftist infiltrators” (and portrays Leftists as devils, with the obligatory evil laughter and fire background).
But wait, there’s more. That wasn’t the winning moment. The cherry on top is when these “leftists” are shown putting up posters saying “SUMAPI SA CCP-NPA.” Yes, there is an evil conspiracy between the Cultural Center of the Philippines and the New People’s Army. Yes, the NoyWeb comics implies that the arts sector is conniving with rebels in order to sabotage Luisita. And no, it wasn’t a typo, since there are two instances of it. See for yourself!
And that, my friends, is the worst viral propaganda ever. I’d also like to emphasize that this komiks has practically the same line of argumentation as Felicity Tan’s viral video, which I wrote about earlier. Coincidence? I think not.
Risa Hontiveros – “Ang Alamat ng Alampay ni Risa Hontiveros.” According to its YouTube description, this is “a lighter take on our overwhelming political problems. Exploring these themes in a comic way in an attempt to engage the not interested and the apathetic, especiallly the young. Exploring political issues need not make you GnD (grim and determined). It can be cool, fun and smart.” UNFORTUNATELY, it’s neither engaging, cool, or smart. It’s not even that funny. Pa-cute, pero fail. And since it’s not GnD either, it’s just… wala. Kulangot. (It barely even made honorable mention, pero for the sake of mentioning lang naman ito, literally.)
Endeavored Endorsers Awards
Baby James for Manny Villar. Ngunit sa isang salita mo lamang ay tatambling na si Noy. At Kris. ‘Nuff said.
Andal Ampatuan Jr. for Noynoy Aquino. Blood in Luisita, bloody mate in Maguindanao. Makes sense to me!
The Womanizers (Willie Revillame, Manny Pacquiao, Dolphy) for Manny V. Pinakamarami ang babae sa tiket ni Villar. Pinakamarami rin ang babaero sa kaniyang endorsers. (Sabagay, may James Yap naman for LP…)
MMDA for Gibo. Everyone noticed that Metro Manila’s footbridges, urinals, even the concrete balls along Quezon Avenue’s islands slowly changed colors from pink to green. Para pag nagwi-weewee ka, subliminally maiisip mong iboto si Gibo.
Sarah Geronimo for Loren Legarda. Weird how Sarah calls her “Loren.” Magkabarkada kayo? Wala man lang “Tita”?
Gloc 9 and Kiwi for Kabataan Partylist. Now THIS is the kind of rapping that merits support. Take a hint, Noynoy.
Ricky Reyes and the Filipino Hairdressers Cooperative for Manny Villar. Ganda ng loloh moh! Read more here.
Cubao ukays and wagwagans for Katribu Partylist. Fashionistas, advance the indigenous peoples’ interests! (Sorry I wasn’t able to take a pic, I was just passing by and saw it through the car window!)
Secret Weapon Award
ABS-CBN and the Philippine Daily Inquirer for Noynoy. Sure, the LP accuses Villar of overspending on his campaign. But it’s much easier when you don’t have to pay for your airtime, right?
Best Brand Endorsement from a Candidate
Gibo Teodoro for Ray-Ban. Aviators always looked cool, but few presidentiables are actually licensed to carry them.
Noynoy Aquino for Rhett Eala/Collezione C2. Now it’s hard to wear these polo shirts without looking like a Noynoy supporter.
Kabataan Partylist’s Isko, because I have a thing for ’em geeky bespectacled boys. Hihihi
Noynoy Aquino’s Ribbon Ibon. It’s just fugly.
The Jejemon Slate
President: jajaja-jAMbY MaDR!GaL~
Vice-President: j3jeje-JeJ0mAr B1nAy
Senators: sLAmAT L0rRrD ^_^
Partylist: 1-ABAA (1-aQ BbaInG aSTg aasENsO)
Assumptionista of the Year
Noynoy Aquino, for assuming na mananalo na siya sa eleksyon—and threatening to incite people power kung matalo siya. Wala pa ngang botohan, sore loser na?
Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, dahil Assumptionista talaga siya. Pati si Loren.
Risa Hontiveros, for assuming that the New People’s Army supports Villar because their alleged permit-to-campaign-cards are orange. Ganun? Why not Erap? Judgmental by color.
Assumption of Intelligence Award
Gilbert Teodoro – “I think, therefore I am for Gibo Teodoro.” Siya na ba ang may monopolyo ng galing at talino? Kayo na, kayo nang supporters ni Gibo ang matalino. René Descartes must be turning in his grave.
Assumption of Non-Intelligence Award
Silvestre Bello III – “Justice Men.” Justice Man Bello seems to think that he’ll secure votes just because he portrays himself as a superhero. He’s confident enough that in his posters and in this TVC, we don’t even get to know his first name (I had to look it up. His nickname’s Bebot). Ano’ng feeling mo, ikaw si Peter Parker, may secret identity? Feeling mo rin sikat ka? FYI, popular people drop their last name, not their first (ie Madonna and Cher). Regarding content, sure, the time of just-tiis should have been over a long time ago, I agree. But no politician is a superhero, and our country’s problems are surely more complex than what we see in, say, Captain Barbell. Or Booba. At the end of the day, no one expects this messianic superhero politician to fly out from the sky and save the day while the people clap helplessly and happily in gratitude. The people aren’t that naïve, Justice Man. Don’t treat us like we are.
Read the rest of Election Discretion
Part 1: Videos and Taglines
Part 3: The Awkward and the Familiar, Identity Crises and Other Special Awards
Entry filed under: Edgar Allan Paule, Filipino films. Tags: 1-abaa partylist, 2010 elections, abs-cbn, ampatuan massacre, andal ampatuan jr., assumption, baby james, boy abunda, colezzione c2, collezione, copyright, cultural center of the philippines, dolphy, doraemon, endorsement, felicity tan, filipino hairdressers cooperative, gibo teodoro, gilbert teodoro, gloc 9, hacienda luisita, isko, jamby madrigal, jejemon, jejomar binay, kabataan partylist, katribu partylist, kiwi, kris aquino, lex bonife, liza maza, loren legarda, maguindanao massacre, manny pacquiao, manny villar, mar roxas, mmda, new people's army, noynoy aquino, noyweb comics, people power, philippine daily inquirer, ray-ban, rhett eala, ricky reyes, risa hontiveros, sarah geronimo, silvestre bello III, slamat lorrrd, ukay-ukay, urinals, viral marketing, viral videos, visual culture, willie revillame.