Bato Bato sa Langit, ang Tamaan Bakla

Remington: pretty boy, or predatory gay?

Zombadings as a study of why, and how to promote gay killings
Michael David C. Tan
Outrage Magazine
2011

Zombadings 1: Patayin sa Shokot si Remington
Director: Jade Castro
Cast: Martin Escudero, Kerbie Zamora, Lauren Young, Roderick Paulate, Janice de Belen, John Regala
2011

What is most troublesome about Michael David C. Tan’s open letter is his claim that “LGBT advocates do not exist because we want to be tolerated – we actually already are.”  This is far from the truth.

Zombadings 1 reminds us that, as Tan rightly (and ironically) describes, we live in a world where homosexuals are killed for being gay, where homosexuals are pressured to act “straight” in order to gain employment, where trannies are ridiculed and barred from certain establishments, where reproductive health and divorce remain a highly contested topic, where same-sex union is still perceived as a lost cause even by the nation’s only gay political party.

Everybody Needs a Shipwreck Once in a While

Careful, careful now. Alam mo namang mahirap ma-achieve ang golden tan.

Temptation Island
Director: Chris Martinez
Cast: Marian Rivera, Heart Evangelista, Lovi Poe, Solenn Heussaff, Rufa Mae Quinto, Aljur Abrenica, Tom Rodriguez, Mikael Daez, John Lapus
2011

Temptation Island
Director: Joey Gosiengfiao
Cast: Dina Bonnevie, Azenith Briones, Jennifer Cortez, Bambi Arambulo, Deborah Sun
1980

Wherever you go, in any Pinoy barkada with a sizable bakla/babaeng bakla percentage, one has probably heard overenthusiastic recommendations of Joey Gosiengfiao’s 1980 film Temptation Island, whether in the form of discreetly swapped VCDs and DVDs (rare kung orig) or the more common “uy bakla pakopya naman ng torrent mo.” Blurt out in the presence of any gay urbanite “Rub a dub dub” and someone will finish the line, “two bitches in a tub.”

Lite Rock

Rocking their roles.

Rakenrol
Director: Quark Henares
Cast: Jason Abalos, Glaiza de Castro, Alwyn Uytingco, Ketchup Eusebio, Matet de Leon, Diether Ocampo
2011

How could a film on the alternative be so… mainstream?

I won’t lie. Rakenrol was horrible. Even though I love Pinoy rock, even though I love Jason Abalos, even though ngayon lang ako nagka-crush kay Alwyn Uytingco, man, I really felt like walking out of the film’s screening at CCP. (And trust me, I can watch horrible films and not feel that walkout urge.)

Moneymaking

New regime, new currency. New direction? We'll see.

“New Generation” Philippine Banknotes
Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas
Studio 5 Designs, Inc. and Design Systemat
2010

As far as state representations go, no other piece of visual culture is as ubiquitous yet precious—literally or symbolically—than our money. How many of us have toiled in unfulfilling careers, aspired to marry above our social class, been separated from family, fought, gone to war, even killed in the name of satisfying the very common desire to accumulate vast amounts of these vivid engravings? As much as they are intricate works of design, in a capitalist society like ours, these colorful slips of paper also make the world go ‘round.

Class Picture (Or, My Big Fat Ayala Cock)

The Man who has everything. Look at his stuff, isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think his collection's complete?

Park Terraces (Cinema Ad)
Client: Ayala Land Premier
2010

I’m not sure what’s more offensive about this advertisement. That it cheapens photography as an elitist hobby? That it unabashedly flaunts the accumulation of wealth? That it makes chauvinism look cool? Probably all of the above.

Ayala Land Premier’s commercial for its new Park Terraces project looks very swanky at first. Beautiful cinematography, subdued tones, attractive play of light and shadow, panoramas and depth of field. Sushal. Akala mo first world na ang Pilipinas. Or at least, mukhang Singapore. Ayala Land Premier, after all, is the high-end arm of one of the nation’s largest real estate developers, Ayala Land. “With Ayala Land Premier, Ayala Land strengthens its distinction as the first, full-line real estate developer to meet the need of discerning homeowners, creating new lifestyles and appointing prime addresses.” Discerning homeowners meaning choosy na mga mayayaman, new lifestyles meaning gentrification.

Corporate Manifesto

What does Nestlé's popular new "manifesto" really manifest?

Manifesto (Bangon)
Director: Henry Frejas/Publicis Manila
Client: Nestlé Philippines
2010

A spectre is haunting our TV screens, the spectre of Nestlé corporate social responsibility.

In Nescafé Classic’s new advertisement curiously entitled “Manifesto,” the multinational company Nestlé teases Filipino consumers through what one reviewer dubs as “a thought-provoking and inspirational” 60-second television commercial which purportedly awakens (bangon) and revives the Filipino sense of community, patriotism, and development.

The Philippines: Not Just “Bus and Miss Universe”

Is our nation defined by blunders?

The Philippine Bus and Miss Universe
Daniel Wagner
The Huffington Post
2010

Social media sites are abuzz with opinions lately, thanks to our country. The tragic bus hostage. The “botched” Miss Universe effort. And a Huffington Post article discussing why both incidents reflect the hopelessness of the Filipinos as a people. Much judgment has been passed recently on our national identity based on these instances. He’s right, many say, agreeing to Daniel Wagner’s August 25 article, he’s just being objective, Filipinos make too many excuses. Others oppose this judgment, saying we’re actually hopeful. Either way, there is a tendency to define Filipinos with these blunders.

It is tempting in particular to dismiss Wagner’s article as mere American arrogance. Filipinos, after all, are no stranger to being the object of ridicule and disdain, enduring centuries of being called indio, little brown brother, monkey. However, unlike Wagner, we choose not to generalize—there are, after all, Americans who are wont to exploit and look down on other nationalities, and there are those who don’t, and perhaps Wagner deserves the benefit of the daw. Moreover, the sheer number of fellow Filipinos sharing and agreeing with Wagner’s article is worrisome, so perhaps it would be wiser to engage the points Wagner makes.

History in a Hurry

The Marian Revolution, led by Marian Rivera.

The Philippine National Anthem (Lupang Hinirang)
Director: Paul Ticzon
Cast: Aljur Abrenica, Marvin Agustin, Victor Aliwalas, Alvin Aragon, Bea Binene, Iza Calzado, Bodie Cruz, Dingdong Dantes, Gabby and Geoff Eigenmann, Mark Anthony Fernandez, Carlo Gonzalez, Carl Guevarra, Richard Gutierrez, Dion Ignacio, Paolo Paraiso, Enzo Pineda, Rhian Ramos, Marian Rivera, Arthur Solinap, Mike Tan, JC Tiuseco, Dennis Trillo, TJ Trinidad
2010

How can you fit the history of the Philippines in two and a half minutes? GMA-7 takes on this challenge with its new “Lupang Hinirang” video, produced in collaboration with SM Cinemas.

The video is a tour de force of production design and cinematography, with meticulously designed sets and costumes. The network made the most of its pool of talents, and each actor played their bit part well. (After watching it on HD though, I changed my mind.) The production team, they say, closely consulted the National Historical Commission, though there were still some glaring mistakes (see bottom). Nevertheless, the clear goal was historical accuracy.  This was no easy feat.

Rigged Picture

Conrado de Quiros' small picture.

Big Picture
Conrado de Quiros
Philippine Daily Inquirer
2010

Conrado de Quiros, in the context of the Aquino presidency, is a weird thing. He cannot conceal that he’s a total Noynoy supporter, but still he attempts to distance himself from the Aquinos, striking a “critical” pose in order to retain his fiery reputation and journalistic integrity.

In his August 11, 2010 column “Big Picture,” de Quiros takes on the Hacienda Luisita issue, writing about the new stock-or-land proposal from the Luisita management and the flak it received. His column’s basic outline goes:

A Dream Goes On Forever

Urban sprawl for two: the neoliberal dream world.

Inception
Director: Christopher Nolan
Cast: Leonardo diCaprio, Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon-Levitt
2010

It has all the elements of coolness. International espionage, dapper sartorial style, designer urban spaces. And hot characters. (Don’t they even perspire? Grrr.) Sure, I won’t deny that I immensely enjoyed Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s slick suits and gravity-defying fight scenes. Or Ellen Page’s smart clothes, and even smarter brain. And Marion Cotillard, mmm, who wouldn’t screw up their subconscious to grow old with that bombshell? Oh, and Leo was good, too.

But after more than two hours of pseudo-psychoanalysis chuchu, physics jargon and special effects extravaganzas, what the fuck was Inception really about?